To stop or to continue, that is the question
Imagine this: someone you care about deeply tells you that they do not want to continue speaking with you. What would you do?
There are a few ways to respond. You could try to convince them why ending regularly communications is not a good idea. Alternatively, you could follow their request. Determining how to respond, depends on the situation, the people involved and what is at stake.
Trying to convince someone you care about that they should continue communicating with you could be perceived as a romantic gesture. However, it could also be perceived as selfish and self-centered. Obeying the request could be perceived as respectful and honorable. However, it could also be perceived as evidence that you never really cared.
It is a very difficult position to be in. If you decide to obey the request to cease communications, it does not mean you have to stop appreciating the value the person brought into your life.
Below are three actions you can take to demonstrate your love and appreciation from afar.
SPOILER: None of them involve contacting the person.
Continue the good that you learned
It is probably the case that you picked up a few good habits during the tenure of your relationship. This could be a recipe, a prayer or even a efficient way of doing something.
In the Islamic tradition it is stated that when you teach someone something and that person does the thing you taught them, they get the fully reward and you get a reward as if you did it, without taking from the rewards of the one who did the action. So, if you love the person who asked you to cease communications, continue practicing whatever good the person introduced you to.
Give charity in their name
There are many great things about giving charity. In some instances’ charity creates opportunities for an individual, a family, or an organization that would not otherwise exist. Charity instills hope in those that were at their wits end. Charity also has the ability to motivate others to give.
Give charity in the name of the person who asked to cease communications. Do it in secret. The best of good deeds are those done that are done in secret. Giving charity in the name of someone that you love (even if you are not sure they feel the same way about you), knowing that they may never learn about it, is a selfless expression of love.
Pray for them
Most faith traditions acknowledge the benefits of praying and supplicating to the God of the Heavens and Earth. Asking God to bless you with an abundance of goodness in this world and in the hereafter is great because it shows that you understand that all things are from God. But don’t stop there. Remember the ones you love and care deeply about.
Be intentional about asking God to bless the person that has asked you to cease communications with the goodness you ask for yourself and more. Do it sincerely and regularly because it can prevent ill feelings towards the person from creeping into your heart. If ill feelings already exist, praying can cleanse your heart of these feelings.
Move on
Being asked to stop communicating with someone you love or care about can be very painful. It can seem like a nightmare. But do not despair. This not about you and does not mean that you are a terrible person. Nor is it about the other person. It is about a relationship.
Move on with the useful experiences and knowledge the relationship afforded you. If you still love or care about the person, guard that love in your heart.
